Sunset, Sisters, OR
Job 19:25 GNT
But I know there is someone in heaven who will come at last to my defense.
Being a caregiver is hard. According the American Psychological Association, caregiving is associated with: depression, anxiety, guilt, sadness, dread, and worry. Caregivers run a gamut of emotions from ambivalence about care, to witnessing the suffering of relatives, to becoming easily irritated or upset. They suffer physical manifestations too like: fatigue, sleep problems, weakened immune system, and dysregulation of stress hormones.
Now, imagine being asked to be a caregiver right after you have lost your home in a major disaster. Dr. Jerry Berger from Psychology Today states, “The loss of a home is more than monetary. Researchers find that most people develop a strong emotional attachment to their homes. For many individuals, the place they live is a part of their identity, a part of who they are. As a result, suddenly losing your home can be especially traumatic.” That’s a lot of stress weighing on you, right?
But wait, there’s more. What if you also just lost a child? Psychologist, Dr. Catherine M. Sanders, wrote in her book, The Mourning After, “Grieving parents evidence anger as part of the normal reaction to the loss of their child. This may be expressed as intense rage or as chronic irritation and frustration. It may be directed at the spouse.” Now, multiply that by ten children! To me, it’s an incomprehensible level of stress, anxiety, grief, and loss, but that is exactly what happened to Job’s wife.
The book of Job chronicles the devil’s attempt to make righteous Job curse God. Job 1: 9-11, “Satan answered the Lord, ‘Does Job fear God for nothing? Haven’t you placed a hedge around him, his household, and everything he owns? You have blessed the work of his hands, and his possessions have increased in the land. But stretch out your hand and strike everything he owns, and he will surely curse you to your face.’ ‘Very well,’ the Lord told satan, ‘everything he owns is in your power. However, do not lay a hand on Job himself.’ So satan left the Lord’s presence.” And Job loses his ten children, his wealth, his home, and his health, but never curses God.
But what about his wife? She wasn’t the one chosen between God and satan, but she sure had to endure the cross-fire!! When Job lost all of his children, she did too! When Job lost all of his fortune, all of her comfort and wealth was gone too. She found herself scavenging the dump for food. And when Job was so very sick with painful boils from head to toe that it made him nearly unrecognizable, she was suddenly his sole caretaker. Yet, we don’t even know her name. But what is recorded for eternity is what she says in Job 2:9. It reads, “His wife said to him, ‘Are you still holding on to your integrity? Curse God and die!’”
Thanks be to God that He is full of grace and compassion, because many aren’t compassionate to this stricken woman. Many single her out, because of this one statement, as a faithless woman in league with the devil! Yet, we don’t actually know her context. Perhaps it was in the midst of the cries of agony from her husband that she yearned for his suffering to end! We don’t know, but we do know that God rebukes Job’s friends, but there isn’t a Bible verse rebuking her! Job responds to her in Job 2:10, “’You speak as a foolish woman speaks,’ he told her. ‘Should we accept only good from God and not adversity?’ Throughout all this Job did not sin in what he said.”’ He doesn’t say she is foolish, just acting foolish. He knew she had been by his side and didn’t leave or abandon him. I imagine tenderness in his voice, a reminder to hold on to the promises of God’s goodness. So, why do we judge her so harshly? When others have cried out, (think Moses, Jeremiah, David) we celebrated their willingness to be vulnerable and authentic! Why are we so quick to proverbially throw her under the bus?
So, to all those struggling to hold it together today, this week, this month or more….this is for you! God sees our struggles. He understands when lose our cool, even when others are quick to judge. When we blow our top, He understands and gives us new mercies every morning and his grace is boundless! Thank You Lord for that!! So, indeed hold firm to promises of God, because after all that suffering when Job was blessed tenfold, so was his wife!
